Decide to Ask Forgiveness

At the beginning of my HR career, I practiced dithering.  It was totally driven by fear:  fear that I would make the wrong decision and create unimaginable legal exposure (and costs) to my company.  And lose my job.  And be branded with the HR version of the Scarlett Letter, a big red "H" on my forehead.  And never be hired again.

Yikes, I'm annoying myself just conjuring up that state of mind for your reading pleasure.

You see, I liked being right.  Come on, part of me still does, ask anyone who knows and loves me:  thankfully, the volume of being right all of the time has been turned down to a manageable whisper.  And the practice of HR compliance in particular often lends itself to being vocationally right while concurrently justifying a drive for perfection.  Hi, my name is Deb and I'm one of the recovering righteous.

As a method of getting my work done despite my dithering, I would run to my supervisor Nicola to reality-check every move I made, from completing paperwork to conducting an investigation.  I was almost always correct in my decisions, however I wasn't comfortable making a move without Nicola's blessing.

Wisely, Nicola nipped this behavior in the bud.  "It's for your own good," Nicola said.  "You're not allowed to ask me questions between the hours of 8 AM and 5 PM.  You'll be fine, I trust you."  Patently unfair.  Back then, I was not an early riser and the thought of making a decision without consulting Nicola during the course of the workday was extremely uncomfortable.  But Nicola always had my back, and I trusted her decision to cut me loose.  Her faith in me reinforced my faith in my own good instincts, training and intellect.  Thanks, Nic.

So began my journey into leadership decision-making:  asking forgiveness rather than permission, and making (as is always my hope and goal) a decision in a timeframe that moves the work of my organization forward to best support everyone's success.

Don't get me wrong:  while at this point in my vocational journey I have almost no problem making timely and informed decisions, embracing the learnings from the mistakes that result from making the wrong decision are still much harder than just letting my inner perfectionist kick my ass for a good long while.  But I strive for the learnings nonetheless, especially the self-forgiveness that lets me off the hook long enough to learn to do it better the next time.

Doing the right thing to support organizational success more often than not involves taking a stand and making a timely decision, which is not the same, by the way, as always being right.

There is always the risk that the decision you make for your organization may be the wrong one.  However, no decision at all is not only failure, but abdication of leadership and responsibility.

Submitted for your consideration:  the decision to ask forgiveness, of each other and ourselves, is an act of creative risk fraught with infinite possibilities of success.