To the Men Who Have Mentored Me: Thank You.

I have been privileged as a professional woman to have been both mentored and sponsored by a number of men with a wide variety of talents and backgrounds. Some of them have earned by blood relation my best wishes on this Father's Day; the others are members of my extended professional and entrepreneurial tribe who by the happenstance of our work together, used their discretionary power to formally and informally recognize and subsequently nurture my talents and mentor and/or sponsor me on how to best leverage them: my best wishes to them as well. My list of luminaries is by no means inclusive, and I'm pleased to report, rather long in reality.

Some of them are on my Board of Directors, and some of them were the guru in the path at the exact moment this student was ready to learn her next lesson. In no particular order:

• My dad, who brought me to his office when I was 4 years old, years before Take Our Children to Work Day, inspiring me to want to get a job on the spot, and who later in my life taught me how to cold-call, find great jobs and who as a life-long commission-only salesman, refused to ever let me give up;
• My granddaddy of blessed memory, who taught me how to change the flat tire which blew out in front of his house instead of changing it himself, and who explained how important investing for the future was while inspiring me with his incredible drive and work ethic. Years later, paying it forward, I taught my dad, the city boy, how to change a flat tire;
• My high-school teacher Dave of blessed memory, who invited me to debate daily in Social Studies to keep the class lively for all of us, and sadly, who died before I graduated college;
• To my high-school friend Tooch, who encouraged my writing and musical creativity by writing down the music of the only song I have ever written (As a "learning-disabled" alto, I cannot read or write music), and then featured it as part of an Under Pressure Band performance during our senior year in high school;
• My home Assemblyman Bob of blessed memory, who during my senior-semester internship taught me to leverage data and research to navigate political twists and turns; to spot hawks on the NYS Thruway; that utility trucks (long before the advent of GPS) were the best source of directions when you were lost; who gave me my first career job, post-internship / post-graduation; and who abhorred wearing ties and related professional artifice;
• My entrepreneur "big-brother" John, who three years ago took me out to breakfast and asked me why I wasn't working for myself;
• My friend Allen, welcoming me as the newcomer who asked to join the church Personnel Committee and then sponsoring me for several tenures in lay leadership;
• My brothers Rob and James, who put up with years of dopey end-user support and hardware questions from me, until I had both absorbed enough of their teachings and, (which I'm sure was a great relief to them) finally learned enough to start utilizing my girlfriend Google instead of calling them first;
• Bob, my former boss who "saw" me and what I had to offer his organization, creating both a job and wonderful career experience for me as a result of a courtesy networking meeting;
• My former boss Bill, who tirelessly coached me on a daily basis because he believed in me and my talent;
• My friend John, who's insight as a therapist and healer as well as his treasured friendship during the last 25 years has been an invaluable touchstone;
• My friend and colleague Dale, who taught me everything he knew about loss prevention, retail and corporate life;
• My friend and colleague Barry, who taught me distribution operations and to shake off setbacks;
• My friend and colleague "Coach" Don, who took the time to teach me change management and share his career best-practices, codifying my recent and past experiences thereof;
• My friend and colleague Peter, who continues to teach me that mediation is the answer, and who's vocational commitment and leadership is second to none;
• My friends and colleagues George and Andy, who continue to inspire me with the success of how they so skillfully execute the strategic plan of their burgeoning business;
• My colleague and new friend Al, who with gusto has invited me to jump into the entrepreneurial waters with him, stretch my arms and enjoy the swim;
• My friend, mentee and colleague Ryan, who returns the gifts I have given ten-fold;
• My friend and colleague / partner Ron, who has journeyed with me through the ebbs and flows of the economy in support of our mutual success;
• My husband and my son, who continue to sustain me with the unwavering faith and belief in my talents and capabilities as we journey this path together.

My tribal brothers, thank you: you truly put the men in mentor. A wonderful Father's Day to you and yours.

 

Cohoes Falls, Cohoes, NY: Sacred Site for the Mohawk Nation.

The Power of Blend at Work

I sing in the alto section of my church's choir. My range is actually in between that of an alto and a soprano: so I don't cringe like the rest of the altos when we are called upon to sing in the soprano range. All I know is that I'm most comfortable singing Bette Midler, Carol King and Barbra Streisand songs: they're members of my tribe and make good money at the singing gig. It would be fun to be them when I grow up as a singer.

In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying the choir gig. We have fun and we have a marvelous musical impresario as our choir director, Gary. She's a woman, and her given name is Gareth: a suitable name indeed for a noblewoman of music. My 10-year-old son Noah is in the Junior Choir. We choir kids adore Gary, who is also an avid gardener and dessert baker (and she shares!). Because of Gary, my voice has gotten stronger; I've learned to read music a bit better (I call myself the learning-disabled alto, as I sing mostly by ear and have never quite gotten the hang of reading music), and most importantly, I've learned how to blend my voice with the choir instead of instinctively belting it out like I'm on the stage in Vegas.

Gary manages both the adult and Junior Choirs with a firm hand both in person and via email. Because we only rehearse one (1) hour every Sunday morning before services, I get at least 3 emails from Gary a week; Here are some of her email communications:

 Folks - This is Sundae Sunday so please have your kids go get their ice cream FIRST and then come right to Jr. Choir. They can finish eating in the Emerson Room! We will have Pam, the society choir accompanist with us for Peace Is. 

Thanks.

 Gary

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Folks - Usually the choir gets January off but we will rehearse again in mid-late January for the cabaret. I will let you know well ahead of time. In the meantime, enjoy the warm(er) weather!

 Gary

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Cabaret performers: First of all, thank you for spending time in preparation for your performance this Sunday! The Music Committee is very grateful. This Cabaret promises to be the best yet. As you know, the dress rehearsal is this Sat. morning. You do not need to wear performance clothes. We will be checking microphones for everyone. Both choirs are dressing especially for the cabaret. We want to have a professional look to the show and therefore are asking that blue jeans and t-shirts not be worn. Anything red is good!  

See you on Saturday.

Sarah, Christine and Gary

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Gary is a musical perfectionist and I am decidedly an amateur - Gary rehearses us rigorously and uses every bit of her weekly hour with us. However, when we sing well, Gary lets us know:  

Folks - That beautiful bouquet should be divided many ways as Cabaret was a true team effort again this year. For members of the Music Committee, I will say thank you so much! Days are getting longer and the iris and tulips make me think spring is around the corner. Thanks as well for all your good and hard work AND major contribution to Cabaret. You sang beautifully and looked so smart! It was all just so much fun preparing for cabaret with you.

Gary

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Thank you Jr. Choir for the best performance of that song EVER! You remembered all the words (hooray!) and sang out and well, you were a great hit. What did I tell you about the Albany line??? Great job!! See you on Feb. 26th when we will begin rehearsing again.    

Gary

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And Gary also shares good wishes from our "customers:"  

To Gary and Choirs, Holiday greetings, and thank you for the lovely music Sunday; it was a good antidote to the holiday music we hear in stores, etc. I’d much rather have your music running through my head this season!

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Gary organized an impromptu welcoming gift from the choir for Madison, our lead soprano Christine's new daughter, who arrived for adoption with one week's notice. When Christine, Madison and Madison's daddy Dan arrived as we sang You Are the New Day for the first time, we all wept with joy as Madison studied us seriously. After we performed You Are the New Day in church, this note made it all worth it for me:    

Well, I just HAD to write! This morning was some of the loveliest singing the choir has done! Several years ago the choir could never have done an a'cappella piece and today it was done with expression and diction and BLEND!! I have been on a high all day - music has that kind of power. George, former bass with the choir, spoke to me with tremendous emotion - he could not comment enough about the beautiful sound and blend, especially. Marta said the same thing. The point of being so picky is not just because I am obsessive (!) about those things but because without pitch and dynamics and blend and therefore, beauty, music loses its power to transform and uplift. And that's our responsibility when we sing in the services.  

Gary

What is the power of blend at work for you? Whether you inspire blend like Gary, or contribute to blend like a learning-disabled alto who sings by ear: how and when does the music you create at work together delight your customers? And you?

Keep Your Success Saw Sharp

Thanks to my regular attendance at Social Media Breakfast Tech Valley (SMBTV) since the summer of 2009, I have learned and implemented several new skills and initiatives:

• Setting up a blog site and writing a weekly blog post, exercising several skill and cognitive "muscles" in one fell swoop;  (I actually encouraged my friend Katie to follow her writing talent bliss and start her blog first - then, after watching her produce great work for a few months on her blog, I waded tentatively into the blogging pool and starting writing too);
• Setting up a website, Google Map and Facebook fan page for my husband Joel's custom-picture framing business, The Best Framing Company, which has generated new customers;
• Setting up an even better website for my dear friend and colleague John Crowe, promoting the great counseling work he does with male sexual abuse survivors and other trauma victims;
• Setting up a blog site for Joel's fiction writing and self-publishing;
• Linking (in a rudimentary fashion) the custom domains purchased for the above sites so they actually work;
• Complementing my LinkedIn SME (Subject Matter Expert) knowledge with related forays into Twitter and Facebook, and conducting workshops and one-on-one coaching thereof, particularly on LinkedIn;
• Experimenting with all three channels (LinkedIn, LinkedIn Groups, Twitter, Facebook, etc.) to broaden the audience of my blog conversations as well as innovate my recruiting and marketing projects;
• Engaging in Twitter conversations during presentations at relevant meetups like SMBTV (the endorsement to do so is as much fun and much more interactive than passing surreptitious notes in class).

And except for LinkedIn, I'm a SME-in-Training on the rest of the above.  Clearly, there are SMEs in the SMBTV crowd who know much more than I do.  However, I always benefit from my insatiable desire to learn about subjects that interest me and expand upon my strengths, and for that I'm very grateful.  It keeps me engaged mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and as a by-product, it continues to broaden my skill set and my marketability, in whatever I choose to pursue, whether it's my next project, customer or career-enriching job.

I also endeavor to read at least two new books a month, as well as take the opportunity to participate in formal training and work opportunities to focus on and codify other strengths, e.g. Mediation Training or Project Management for Professionals.

It is one of the habits that sticks with me from Covey's timeless standard, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have--you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:

Physical:	Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting
Social/Emotional:	Making social and meaningful connections with others
Mental:	Learning, reading, writing, and teaching
Spiritual:	Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service

As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?

Feeling good doesn't just happen. Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It's all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out by overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself mentally and spiritually. Or you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You can experience vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the benefits of good health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a new day in peace and harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of apathy because your get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone. Just remember that every day provides a new opportunity for renewal--a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire, knowledge, and skill. 

What opportunity will you take this week to Sharpen Your Success Saw?

How Full is Your Calendar Campaign?

I started working as a writer on political campaigns when I was a college senior.  In addition to writing promotional copy were the more mundane but necessary tasks of stuffing and labeling envelopes; cold-calling voters; and scheduling the candidate's events to ensure they were interacting with as many voters (read: decision-makers) as possible.

I remember poring over the morning newspaper on a daily basis with my supervisor Donna, searching for events for the candidate to attend which would expose them to the maximum number of voters.  Our job was to fill up the candidate's calendar every day, 7 days a week until Election Day.  "There's a pancake breakfast at the firehouse on Saturday, let's schedule the candidate for that event," Donna directed.  I stopped, pencil poised over the campaign calendar.  "Does the candidate know the folks at the firehouse?  Isn't that weird to just show up and start shaking hands with people you don't know?  What if the candidate tells us they don't want to do it?" I asked a bit anxiously.  Donna looked at me, arching an eyebrow.  "Weird or not, if the candidate can't do it, they shouldn't be running for office."

It was an expansion of the success practice my father instilled in me:  10 decision-maker prospect calls a day; at least one decision-maker prospect meeting a day.  Whether you're searching for jobs, customers or voters.  It's the same Zen practice.  Open up the newspaper, Business Review, Chamber of Commerce website, etc. and start filling in your calendar.  My particular angle on this best practice is to focus on decision-maker events where I can practice needs-based, win-win networking.  Another one of my colleagues combines donations and pro bono work to charity events near and dear to her heart with her networking:  another great win-win example.

If for some reason there's a dearth of decision-maker events on the calendar, I catch up with my Board of Directors. Or I sharpen the saw by attending events where I hone / expand my skills and horizons.  Or I stay home and catch up on my reading.  Unless you're running for political office, I certainly don't advocate the 7-day-a-week calendar practice.  It's a creative choice process, ripe with possibilities.

However you decide to plan your calendar campaign, one success statistic remains constant:  business owners / entrepreneurs must spend at least 50% of their time marketing for new business in order to sustain / grow their businesses.  A potential best practice is for all of us is to do the same, whether the marketing is internal to the organization (as an employee); or externally (job-seeker, networker, entrepreneur, business owner).  I love the implied potential of all of us working towards that growth goal.

How full is your calendar campaign this week?  And every week thereafter?

Sandbox Your Way to Success

I have been a member of Professional Women's Network in Albany, NY for almost 16 years.  Unlike other business, professional, leads and networking groups (such as Chambers of Commerce, etc., which are also important yet different), we support each other's success organically.  That is, among other benefits, we are each other's personal Board of Directors.

Our members are doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, business owners and executives.  Truly a marvelous talent resource.  The difference with our group is the smaller size and our guidelines, both of which engender and breed trust.  What's said in PWN, stays here.  We have each other's backs.

And not just from a business standpoint.  Anywhere from walking together through the crucible of  breast cancer with the unwavering support of our group's subject-matter experts (SMEs) to long-term warrior status (no stinkin' survivors' badges here), to marshaling the group's great minds and savvy to rally a virtual barn-raising to enhance and support the business or career strategic plan of any given member.

However, the greatest gift of PWN has been the sandbox space we create together.  That is, a safe space where we can experiment with new career and business ideas, and know that we will get a candid and expert, yet heartfelt response.  To be clear:  heartfelt is not candy-coated feedback, it is direct and authentic.  And if that experimentation is a failure:  no harm, no foul.  It has truly been freeing to take those necessary creative risks in order to move to the next level of business and career success in that sandbox.

From the beginning, PWN has used me as an HR and Career SME, both individually and as a group.  I talk to a member at least once a month, if not more frequently, asking for my guidance on the labyrinth that Human Resources / Employee Relations / Recruitment and Retention can be.  In my commitment to stand up for my fellow members as an HR SME, they, in the process and safety of our group sandbox, have taught me to truly become an HR Consultant, allowing me the great privilege to first serve them.  Thank you, good women:  another reason why you rock.

Yet PWN is not the only group like this:  there are many others like it.  For example, I've had the privilege to bear witness to a similar sandbox through the Rensselaer County Chamber of Commerce Leadership Institute.  Under the leadership of RCCC's President Linda Hillman, her talented staff and equally resourceful Board of Directors, the Leadership Institute has created a wonderful sandbox for its up-and-coming students to learn from SMEs, CEOs, and most and best of all, from each other.   They're stuck with each for the rest of their careers:  what a wonderful opportunity and resource.

Like a chicken in every pot, I wholeheartedly believe that everyone on a vocational / entrepreneurial path driven to success deserves a sandbox to play, grow and succeed in.  So much so, that I recently matched up a small group of entrepreneurs and job-seekers (who are becoming entrepreneurs) from my church (Who then invited some of their friends / colleagues, see how it catches on?), to create such a sandbox together.  They're supporting each other to develop and win proposals, whether they will become employees or business owners.  I love witnessing the discovery and growth of their own success in the new hothouse of their sandbox.

Looking for a sandbox?  There are lots of sandboxes to play in and join.  Or, if you build a sandbox, they will come.

HR Leadership: Counselor; Consigliere; CEO

At this point in his life, it's easier to explain to my 9 year-old son Noah one of my concurrent vocational paths: Human Resources, or HR.  Noah gets that I've often performed many of the functions of his elementary school principal:  hiring, promotion / recognition / reward, intervention, mediation, discipline.  And while his principal has not fired anyone during Noah's tenure, he knows what that is, too.

It's the adults who often don't understand the role an HR leader can play in positively contributing to an organization's success, particularly in a more progressive organization.  It's more than just hiring, firing and processing paperwork.  I'm not going to bore you with the history of the human resources function.  If you're interested in that information, here's a resource (and for some, a sleep aid).  Since the HR function basically originated in the Finance / Accounting function, you'll generally find HR reporting to the CFO in more traditional organizations.  In more progressive organizations, HR reports directly to the CEO / President.  The proverbial and coveted "seat at the table."

I have as a general practice used the following two popular cultural references to explain with more depth and texture the value-added organizational role an HR leader can play.

For Trekkers:

In the Star Trek universe, Counselor Troi is the HR Leader for Star Trek, Next Generation.  Here's the Star Trek.com take on her leadership role (Note: just for the record, I do not at all resemble this physical depiction, nor would I show this much cleavage at work):

Although actually of mixed human and Betazoid heritage, Troi is one of many from her planet active in the Starfleet counselor corps and was ship's counselor for the U.S.S. Enterprise throughout its service life and now aboard its successor namesake. Troi's race is known for its inter-species telepathy and its emotional empathy with most other species whether on board the ship, in a ship at close proximity or on the planet below. While such a capacity has heightened her counseling skills, they have also aided her captain's command mission decisions on several occasions, including hostile encounters, negotiations, and first-contact missions.

Also for the record:  I am not an empath and I was born in Queens, NY, very much of this earth (although there are some who have a different opinion, I have the floor in this blog).  However, the last part of the excerpt:   they have also aided her captain's command mission decisions on several occasions, including hostile encounters, negotiations, and first-contact missions -- is spot on.

Whatever organization I've worked in, I thankfully was taught to become as much of a subject-matter expert as my client leaders, so that I could provide the best advice and counsel.  In the more traditional organizations / leadership teams, I give my best advice and professionally accept the fact that the decision is ultimately up to the operations leader I serve.  (E.g. Troi's service to Captain Picard.)

However, on the more progressive leadership teams I've served, the work of running the organization has been shared and collaborative, cross-trained and therefore seamless:  any one of us on the leadership team, including me, the HR geek, could take the helm and run the ship.  Those have been the best, most fulfilling and most educational leadership experiences, and I strive to recreate that collaborative cross-functional leadership spirit wherever I serve.

For the mainstream audience:  

The HR Leader is the Consigliere, as represented by Tom Hagen in The Godfather.  Here's Wikipedia's take on the role of Consigliere in the leadership structure:

In the movies The Godfather and The Godfather Part II, the consigliere to Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando), and later Don Michael Corleone (Al Pacino), is Tom Hagen (played by Robert Duvall). Hagen is the adopted son of Don Vito Corleone, and a lawyer for the family. At the end of The Godfather, Don Vito's successor and son, Michael Corleone, temporarily demotes Hagen within the organization, moving him to Las Vegas, saying "things are going to get rough, and I need a wartime consigliere." (In an earlier scene, Santino 'Sonny' Corleone, Michael's older brother and acting Don after Vito Corleone's attempted assassination, similarly criticizes Hagen.) Vito Corleone, Michael's father, replaces Hagen at Michael's side until his death. After killing the heads of the five families, Michael reinstates Tom.
 
In Italian, consigliere means "advisor" or "counselor." It is derived from Latin consiliarius (advisor) and consilium (advice). The terminology of the U.S. Mafia is taken from that of the Sicilian Mafia and suggests that an analogy is intended to imitate the court of a medieval Italian principality. For example, Venice was led by a doge (duke) and a consigliere ducale (advisor to the doge). An underboss will normally move up to boss when the position becomes vacant, so his position is equivalent to that of heir to the throne. Consigliere, meanwhile, is analogous to chief minister or chancellor. (Oddly, in the novel The Godfather, the word is spelled consigliori; in the films, it is clearly pronounced consigliere.) In Joe Bonanno's book (A Man Of Honor) he explains that a consigliere is more of the voice or rep for the soldiers of the family, and may help solve and mediate disputes for the lower echelon of the family. 

The consigliere role is also spot on. I have conducted some my best career work behind the scenes; for example,  mediating disputes that would otherwise undermine the organization, with little fanfare. And when I started my HR career, my dress code was the female version of Tom Hagen's standard 1950's business attire.

However, the ultimate HR leadership cultural reference is Xerox's former CEO Anne Mulcahy, 2008 Chief Executive of the Year, as described in Chief Executive Magazine:

The choice for the 2008 Chief Executive of the Year marks several firsts. By her own admission Anne Mulcahy did not set out to become a chief executive. Nor was she groomed to become one. Neither did she bargain to face what some have called the turnaround of the century when her predecessor, Paul Allaire, called her into his office one day in 2001 to say that the top job was hers. Allaire himself returned to the company at the request of the board when Xerox dumped Allaire's chosen successor Rick Thoman. Fortune dubbed her "The Accidental CEO." One might add "Improbable Turnaround CEO," since everyone knows turnaround bosses tend to come from the outside. (Former Lee Iacocca point man "Steve" Miller is the archetype.) Mulcahy had worked for Xerox for 24 years at the time of her appointment; she spent 16 of those years in sales and the rest heading HR. The company was so much in her blood she bled copier toner.  

Oh yes, Mulcahy is also the first woman CEO to be chosen by her peers for the honor of Chief Executive of the Year. 

 Mulcahy joined Xerox as a field sales representative in 1976 and rose through the ranks. From 1992-1995, Mulcahy was vice president for human resources, responsible for compensation, benefits, human resource strategy, labor relations, management development and employee training. Mulcahy became chief staff officer in 1997 and corporate senior vice president in 1998. Prior to that, she served as vice president and staff officer for Customer Operations, covering South America and Central America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and China. 

Forget about being granted a seat at the leadership table:  Mulcahy built her own seat, and more importantly, used her discretionary power to make even more room at the leadership table. Crowning her career as CEO at Xerox, Mulcahy broke new ground in naming her successor, also courtesy of Wikipedia: 

Ursula M. Burns (born September 20, 1958) serves as chairwoman and CEO of Xerox. She is the first African-American woman CEO to head a S&P 100 company. She is also the first woman to succeed another woman as head of a S&P 100 company. In 2009, Forbes rated her the 14th most powerful woman.^[1] 

From Customer Service to  HR to CEO:  now that's what I'm talking about in terms of cross-functional and seamless leadership, and development thereof.

What role does HR play in your organization: clerk, Counselor, Consigliere, or CEO?  Is your HR Leader bench ready to be CEO? 

Why There's No Crying in Baseball

A League of Their Own is one of the movies I love to watch over and over again.  Literally, I've seen it more than 20 times. 

Now, I'm not necessarily gender-centric in my movie re-run hobby:  another favorite that I never tire of watching is The Hunt for Red October, and there is nary a woman to be found, much less relate to, as a female viewer.  The passion of the strategic intrigue is genderless, at least for me.

If there were a 12-step program for such an addiction, my husband Joel, instead of rolling his eyes and sighing every time I'm glued to one of my repeat favorites, would arrange an intervention and attend the Movie-Anon meetings for enablers.

One of the best scenes in A League of Their Own, I think most of us would agree,  is between the Tom Hanks character Jimmy, the team manager, and Bitty Schram character, Evelyn, when she makes an error that ends a key inning in the game, a.k.a. the "There's No Crying in Baseball" scene.

As I mentioned earlier, I've watched this scene literally dozens of times, and my visceral reaction rarely wavered:  I simultaneously ached for Evelyn and was ashamed of her.  On the surface, I related more to the Rosie O'Donnell character, Doris:  I'm a born and bred 3rd-generation New Yorker.

The shame is as simple as this:  don't let the assholes see you cry.  It just reinforces their gender stereotypes in the workplace and ruins it for the rest of us.

However, when I watch this scene from an organizational / leadership effectiveness standpoint, the perspective is startlingly different.

Jimmy is jonesing for his end-of-season managerial bonus for winning the World's Series, and Evelyn's error does not support his goal.  In order to ensure that she does not make the error again and jeopardize his bonus potential further, he gets in her face and kicks her ass.  Publicly.  "Use your head, " he barks.  "You know -- that lump 3 feet above your ass?" 

The rest of the team is visibly stunned, a mixture of anger, disgust and helplessness.  Doris asks Jimmy to lay off, and he tells her to zip it.  And she does. Why?  Chain-of-command.  While he's an asshole, he's still her manager. So much for the New York attitude advantage.

As Evelyn cries, he's incredulous. "There's no crying in baseball!," he exclaims repeatedly in amazement.  He tells her that he's suffer much worse abuse from his manager, and he didn't cry.  As if he were the incarnation of the Dalai Lama for that alleged accomplishment  She cries harder.  The umpire approaches.  "Sir, she's crying!"  Jimmy exclaims in frustration, appealing to another man.  "Perhaps you should address her as you address your mother," the ump primly advises.  I wince.  He's like a sanctimonious substitute for baseball field HR. 

Hey Ump, I know it's supposed to be 1944 in the movie:  but they taught us in diversity training that using the treatment of mothers and other female relatives as examples of how men should treat women respectfully in the workplace does not consistently wash, e.g. what happens if domestic violence exists in your family?  You think Jimmy kisses his mother with that mouth?

Only when Jimmy calls the umpire a penis in a hat does the ump exercise his discretionary power and throw Jimmy out of the game.  But how does that help the women and men on the team (organization), and the game, move forward?

Everyone here is marginalized.  From Jimmy grasping at the last straws of a wasted career to the women players busting their butts only to lose their jobs when the men return from war to the HR ump, who has no real and lasting impact beyond the current game.

I know the answer isn't for women to emulate these abusive, outdated and stereotypical power behaviors.  Women with Men's Heads, my friend Nan coined years ago.  Watching that in action is even worse than when men do it.  Again, it ruins it for the rest of us and undermines the credibility of women leaders in the workplace.  No one wins, everyone is still marginalized. 

I love the answer Chris Flett proposes in his book, What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook.

Contrary to what the title implies, Flett first lays out the rules of the current power structure; and then lays out a practical plan-forward:  that for organizations to move forward and evolve, they require managerial skills that tend to be more native to women (but also available to men).  In order to do so, we must first understand and learn how to facilitate the power structure where it is (There's No Crying in Baseball) to where it can be (There Are No Assholes in Baseball.)

There's even hope at the end of A League of Their Own.  After making another error in the World Series, Evelyn comes off the field and Jimmy meets her again. "Now Evelyn, I'd like you to work on that for next season," he says, clearly controlling himself.  "I know, I will" she says gently, and walks off the field.  He fribrillates and smiles, nearly choking on his chewing tobacco.

Progress, Not Perfection, as they say in the 12-step rooms.

Are You Teflon, or Gold?

Earlier in my HR career, a new senior manager was referred and recruited by one of our newer senior executives.

The manager, whom I'll call Teflon (the name is changed to protect the guilty), immediately made a big splash with his aggressive tactics.  He was an equal-opportunity asshole, beating the crap out of his vendors, his new colleagues and his new team of employees. He got the best price (in the short term) from his vendors, and he leveraged his senior executive mentor to finger-point cross-functionally and consistently across the organization to further pad his bonus potential by driving down any cross-functional costs that might impact his area.  Of course, this drove up costs in other areas of the organization.

He was a recruiter's nightmare.  I can recall at least 3 candidates who declined to work for the organization because of Teflon's prisoner-of-war interview tactics with them.   "That guy is a lunatic,"  one candidate memorably related.  "I like your organization, but I can't work for him."   Teflon then complained how we weren't filling his jobs quickly enough.  I know you're shocked.  

Whenever Teflon was challenged, he went aggressively postal and blamed his accuser(s) back, loudly and profanely.  Nothing was ever his fault, he was always right.  Teflon's often irrational belief that he was always right was so ingrained in his reality that he was deeply and genuinely hurt by the attacks of his colleagues in response to his attacks.  I once spent an hour in a conference room with him, reluctantly and incredulously offering my maternal HR shoulder as he cried bitterly at the unfairness of it all, drowning his sorrows in his own Kool-Aid.

Teflon's initial coup de grace, however, was how he nailed one of his subordinates for taking bribes in the form of free goodies from vendors. Teflon alerted Internal Control, and sure enough, Teflon was right.  Teflon's subordinate was promptly fired, mortified at being caught.  But apparently not mortified enough to not take bribes in the first place.

How did Teflon know?  As it was discovered later, he had in all likelihood accepted bribes himself periodically during the course of his career and recognized the behavior.  At least, this was the likely conjecture, as Teflon was eventually terminated for cooking his numbers to drive up his bonus.

Now this cautionary tale is on the extreme end of the scale.  However, it forever soured me on employees / managers / executives / colleagues who finger-point, whine and make excuses instead of manning-up / womanning-up, taking responsibility and proactively offering collaborative solutions.  And those in organizational control who condone or even worse, encourage such behavior.

Seriously:  my 9 year-old is more solution-oriented and takes more responsibility (and is extremely hard on himself, interesting how genetics play out) than some of the adults I've witnessed in the workplace.

It's particularly disturbing to witness managers engage in this teflon behavior.  "My (subordinate) screwed up the order," instead of "It's my responsibility, and this is how I'm going to work with my team to fix it."

And when it happens on an organizational scale, you start to feel like Ingrid Bergman in Gaslight:  is this really happening?  Who's the crazy one here? 

Which is one of the reasons I love Get Rid of the Performance Review! by Culbert and Rout.  No more finger-pointing power plays or whining self-victimization:  the performance of both the manager and their team is inextricably dependent and success or failure is a joint responsibility.  Which is organizational and bottom-line gold.

So what will you mine this week to drive mutual / bottom-line success:  teflon, or gold?

Are You My Mother? No. Especially Not at Work.

Everywhere I've worked, the employee lunchroom always has some version of this sign posted:

Your Mother Doesn't Work Here:  Clean Up Your Own Mess.

A variation of the theme of "Don't Mess Your Nest."

Both concepts are related and should be taken to heart, mind and spirit.  It comes down to the hard work of self-awareness and its resultant emotional intelligence / maturity.  The implications of the unexamined life are not only sad; they are, more importantly, life- and career-changing, and more often than not, for the worst.

Cleaning up -- better yet, preventing -- your own mess within the context of the workplace is critical, particularly in an economy where it's a buyer's market for employers (customers).  If for no other reason, check your therapeutic baggage at the door of your workplace.  Think about examining your (inner) life to the extent that it saves you from jeopardizing your livelihood.  Wherever else that journey of self-examination takes you is up to you.

Taking responsibility for recognizing and keeping your therapeutic baggage in check at work is a key step towards ensuring your own vocational success.

As an HR practitioner, I see the lack of responsibility on the part of the employee (employees mean managers here too) play out again and again as the employee hits their bottom in a performance, disciplinary or termination discussion.  I've seen it happen at every level, from executives to warehouse clerks.  Their psychological baggage is so obvious to me that it's not only in the room, but all of their bags are open and the contents are strewn everywhere and hurtled at everyone.

For that employee, as a brief example, their manager is their abusive dad, I'm their detached mom / aunt and their co-workers are their trench-buddy siblings.

And when compounded by substance abuse and unresolved trauma:  I estimate at least half (probably more) of the employee relations issues that I have adjudicated in my career should have been handled through professional mental health treatment rather than the workplace disciplinary process.

If those same employees had taken the responsibility to drag their therapeutic baggage to a therapist rather than to work, we could have taken that time and energy wasted in resolving those employee relations issues and applied it to more productive endeavors such as new product, process and customer development, as well as resultant profit-sharing.

The time to raise your hand for help is not at your termination discussion.  If your employer offers help in the form of employee assistance programs (EAP) and/or mental health benefits, ask for and accept the help before you begin sliding down the slippery slope of the disciplinary / termination process.

One employee who will always have a place in my heart asked for the help before he jeopardized his employment, while he was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. His courage inspired us all.  We were all committed to his treatment, and he not only became a stellar employee, he was also subsequently promoted.

That, in my book, is how you engender mutual loyalty and respect in the workplace.

Now I'm not a therapist, nor do I aspire to that vocation,  and I don't weave anything remotely therapeutic into my HR practice:  I'm clear about both my boundaries and my limitations, personally, professionally and legally.  However, I will reflect back when an employee has dug themselves into such a hole of hitting bottom at work that perhaps they should consider working it out with a therapist, mentor, spiritual counselor -- whatever will get them through the night of their unexamined internal wound(s).

The workplace is not parental, or familial:   it is a place of business, and the interaction of the employer with their employees is a business transaction.  Plain and simple.  Services are sold by one party (the employee) and purchased by the other party (the employer).  The extent to which that business transaction is conducted creatively, collaboratively and functionally separates tolerable workplaces from great workplaces.  And tolerable employees from great employees / contributors / partners.

Leave your baggage at your workplace door:  solutions sell.

Walking in Their Resilient Footsteps: Keep Daring to Create a New American Dream as Employees and Entrepreneurs

I sent the link to the New York Times article below out via Twitter early last Friday morning in between two seemingly unrelated conversations, one on Thursday and the other on Friday:

For a New Generation, an Elusive American Dream- http://nyti.ms/bqIQUl - Create a New Dream by Training #Employees to be #Entrepreneurs #CEO

Apparently, 140 characters is not enough space for me to weigh in on this subject, hence this foray into more than just micro-blogging.

On Thursday evening over wine and Saratoga Water at Creo, I mentioned to John Stahl how much the article struck me: that the young man in the article hadn't been able to find a career job since graduating in 2008, and that unlike his father and grandfather who both secured career-long jobs after some brief initial networking and job-search, this third-generation son's road to employment would be much more challenging due to the current economy. Instead of wringing my hands about the recession in harmony with that article (my 5th recession, I think, since my childhood), I was energized by the opportunity to shake the employee paradigm a bit.

"Clearly, we need to train our current and future workforce to be both employees and entrepreneurs, to build ultimate resiliency and creativity no matter what the economy serves up," I asserted. "I've been on both sides of the layoff table during several visits to the Recession Rodeo, and I'm grateful that I've learned not only to earn a living as a consultant and an HR Director, but more importantly, that I'm the source of the money, whether I'm working as an employee or a vendor." I also asserted to John, in the spirit of full disclosure, how difficult it was at times to detox from the employee Kool-Aid to authentically support that assertion, which for me was especially compounded by my chosen profession upholding and investing in the organizational employment structure as a double-dip in the stuff. Nonetheless, the journey and the learning have been invaluable in both arenas.

"Of course," John agreed. "But remember: the whole employee paradigm is a product of the industrial revolution. 100 years ago or so, our ancestors all worked for themselves: farming, running a store, etc. We just need to remember our roots."

The second conversation was with my dad, up from Florida on his annual visit to see my son Noah, his only grandchild. As we usually do, talk turned to family history as we waited for what thankfully turned into a pleasant dinner at The Barnsider after a rocky start. "Do you know what your grandmother's name was?" (Dad's grandfather's name was Davis, according to the scant paperwork we possess, including a colorful Last Will and Testament leaving only $5 each to his two daughters, "for reasons that they know full well.") "No, I don't," Dad replied, "She died long before I was born."

Curiosity piqued, I started Googling on Saturday morning, with no results. I then broke down and opted for a trial membership on Ancestry.com. Jackpot in both the 1900 and 1910 census records: Davis and Katie (interesting name for a nice Jewish girl from Russia) had 6 children including my grandfather Joseph, whom I had never met.

More fascinating still was connecting the dots on their immigration and entrepreneurial journey - here's how the two conversations dovetailed, not without coincidence. Davis arrived first in 1891 to find safer haven from the Russian pogroms. Katie and their older 4 children (including the later outcast daughters Sarah and Lena) followed in 1896. The 1900 census documents them all speaking English as their main language a few short years later (Where in contrast, even after 6 years of studying French, I have retained none of it), and that Davis sold clothing. The 1910 census clearly documents the progression of Davis' entrepreneurial success: "Operator of Clothing Store." What great nuggets to uncover!

I was thrilled to discover yet another family entrepreneur. After losing her husband in the 1918 swine flu epidemic, my great-grandmother Rose opened up a sewing and knitting notions shop to support her two young sons. Her older son, my granddaddy Nat, started his career at the age of 11, learning his trade as an electrician, which was interrupted by the 1929 economic crash. He and my grandma Betty (with my infant Aunt Marilyn in tow) had to go live with their respective mothers for a time to wait out the economic storm. He subsequently retired after 53 years of service from the same company, and saved and invested more than enough to keep my grandma Betty well-supported for more than 20 years after he passed, until her own death.

I've read recently that through natural selection, we are the descendants of the most resilient prehistoric humans who survived near-extinction-level events - earthquakes, floods, ice ages, disease, famines, you name it. Yet here we are. A bit distant however, and too cold a comfort to reassure me.

But Davis, Rose and Nat, and we who are blessed to be their children and grandchildren, are a warmer and more recent touchstone of the true potential of our own creativity: documentary proof of how infinitely and resiliently, that we are the source of our own wealth -- financially, physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.