Teach and Be Prepared to Learn at Work and in Business

I returned to my roots during my Fourth of July vacation this year. For the first time since I was a teenager, I was a camp counselor at an overnight camp for kids going into their fourth grade to senior high-school years; and I participated in a theater group. My husband Joel was one of my co-Counselors, teaching art to the high school division; our son Noah attended as a camper in the younger division; and I was Theater Counselor-in-Training for the high school division.

We all had a great time, and it was my best camp experience ever. Partial credit goes to the quality of the camp, Ferry Beach UU Camp; the high school division Coordinators, Mindy and Donald; our lead Theater Counselor, Eric; and the talented Theater Track campers. While I coached, encouraged and co-taught, my learnings simultaneously were rich and profound. For most of our week together, Eric had me participate as a student, similar to a graduate student. So I often partnered with our students in acting exercises, learning along with the students. Here are some of my lessons learned:

• With the confidence of an adult life lived (career, family, business, etc.) unlike my uncertain teenage self, I could now perform without bursting into a self-conscious and fearful fit of giggles every time I was asked to act in a role. I was able to consistently and completely focus acting any given role, because I cared more about the learning moment than what the other kids thought of me, or not.
• I marveled at the abundance of acting / musical talent and confidence displayed by our students, which inspired me to take more risks and stretch myself out of my comfort zone, including but not limited to re-engaging my love of singing while accompanying myself on guitar. I'm proud to report that my guitar calluses have re-emerged after a long hiatus.
• Love is the answer. The values and structure of our camp consistently lifted up our students and their creativity, creating a safe foundation which allowed them to soar. I went on a couple of rides with them, so to speak.
• It was okay to experiment, fail and try again. In fact, it was mandatory. And the talents of our students were burnished and shone even more.
• Practice, practice, practice. It builds confidence, not necessarily perfection. And that confidence is where creativity and often leadership flourishes and expands.
• We felt the fear and did it anyway. We wrote monologues and performed them for each other, with varying degrees of risk and discomfort. How important it was to express and witness each other's internal music.
• Whether we pursue theater as a career or not, everything we learned together last week was applicable. My gift to the students was to create a crosswalk between our theatrical lessons and their potential application in business, e.g. presenting to business groups, interviews, sales pitches etc. No lessons wasted here, every learning is applicable for future success.
• In order to learn and renew vocationally and creatively, it's important to get out of your routine and environment.
• The most important lesson: every opportunity to teach is also an opportunity to learn something new from your talented students / team. A wonderful symbiotic gift.

What did / will you teach and learn on your summer vacation?

   

To the Men Who Have Mentored Me: Thank You.

I have been privileged as a professional woman to have been both mentored and sponsored by a number of men with a wide variety of talents and backgrounds. Some of them have earned by blood relation my best wishes on this Father's Day; the others are members of my extended professional and entrepreneurial tribe who by the happenstance of our work together, used their discretionary power to formally and informally recognize and subsequently nurture my talents and mentor and/or sponsor me on how to best leverage them: my best wishes to them as well. My list of luminaries is by no means inclusive, and I'm pleased to report, rather long in reality.

Some of them are on my Board of Directors, and some of them were the guru in the path at the exact moment this student was ready to learn her next lesson. In no particular order:

• My dad, who brought me to his office when I was 4 years old, years before Take Our Children to Work Day, inspiring me to want to get a job on the spot, and who later in my life taught me how to cold-call, find great jobs and who as a life-long commission-only salesman, refused to ever let me give up;
• My granddaddy of blessed memory, who taught me how to change the flat tire which blew out in front of his house instead of changing it himself, and who explained how important investing for the future was while inspiring me with his incredible drive and work ethic. Years later, paying it forward, I taught my dad, the city boy, how to change a flat tire;
• My high-school teacher Dave of blessed memory, who invited me to debate daily in Social Studies to keep the class lively for all of us, and sadly, who died before I graduated college;
• To my high-school friend Tooch, who encouraged my writing and musical creativity by writing down the music of the only song I have ever written (As a "learning-disabled" alto, I cannot read or write music), and then featured it as part of an Under Pressure Band performance during our senior year in high school;
• My home Assemblyman Bob of blessed memory, who during my senior-semester internship taught me to leverage data and research to navigate political twists and turns; to spot hawks on the NYS Thruway; that utility trucks (long before the advent of GPS) were the best source of directions when you were lost; who gave me my first career job, post-internship / post-graduation; and who abhorred wearing ties and related professional artifice;
• My entrepreneur "big-brother" John, who three years ago took me out to breakfast and asked me why I wasn't working for myself;
• My friend Allen, welcoming me as the newcomer who asked to join the church Personnel Committee and then sponsoring me for several tenures in lay leadership;
• My brothers Rob and James, who put up with years of dopey end-user support and hardware questions from me, until I had both absorbed enough of their teachings and, (which I'm sure was a great relief to them) finally learned enough to start utilizing my girlfriend Google instead of calling them first;
• Bob, my former boss who "saw" me and what I had to offer his organization, creating both a job and wonderful career experience for me as a result of a courtesy networking meeting;
• My former boss Bill, who tirelessly coached me on a daily basis because he believed in me and my talent;
• My friend John, who's insight as a therapist and healer as well as his treasured friendship during the last 25 years has been an invaluable touchstone;
• My friend and colleague Dale, who taught me everything he knew about loss prevention, retail and corporate life;
• My friend and colleague Barry, who taught me distribution operations and to shake off setbacks;
• My friend and colleague "Coach" Don, who took the time to teach me change management and share his career best-practices, codifying my recent and past experiences thereof;
• My friend and colleague Peter, who continues to teach me that mediation is the answer, and who's vocational commitment and leadership is second to none;
• My friends and colleagues George and Andy, who continue to inspire me with the success of how they so skillfully execute the strategic plan of their burgeoning business;
• My colleague and new friend Al, who with gusto has invited me to jump into the entrepreneurial waters with him, stretch my arms and enjoy the swim;
• My friend, mentee and colleague Ryan, who returns the gifts I have given ten-fold;
• My friend and colleague / partner Ron, who has journeyed with me through the ebbs and flows of the economy in support of our mutual success;
• My husband and my son, who continue to sustain me with the unwavering faith and belief in my talents and capabilities as we journey this path together.

My tribal brothers, thank you: you truly put the men in mentor. A wonderful Father's Day to you and yours.

 

Cohoes Falls, Cohoes, NY: Sacred Site for the Mohawk Nation.

Stop and Listen for the Needs Underneath the Yelling

As a native of Queens, NY, I used to have only two communications gears:  speaking loudly and yelling.  Due in part to our geographic location and also due to our family's ethnic and cultural paradigm.

Subsequently, I have spent my entire adult life in the Albany, New York area.  Even at this writing, most Albany natives rarely use their horns to defensively drive.  It's considered rude.  In other words, when you honk your horn around here, it's a form of automotive yelling.  Yes, it's one of my few remaining vices.

At the beginning of my HR career, I was not only lucky enough to receive extensive formal and on-the-job training, but I was also taught and repeatedly trained to develop other communications gears besides downshifting into Queens.  The success profile of my organization at the time was reserved and analytical. I am anything but reserved, but also analytical.  The coaching, for the most part, was therefore successful.  After every meeting together, my boss Bill would take me aside.  "You did very well in the meeting," Bill would say.  "However, I have one piece of coaching for you:  speak less and more softly." Bill was a wonderful mentor and I think of him often, all these years later.  Even at those coaching moments when I sighed and wanted a coaching rain-check, I treasure his perseverance and interest in molding me for success and subsequent promotion.

One of my first HR client managers there was the Purchasing Manager; he was a great guy who drove a Harley to work every day, rain or shine, and relished beating the stuffing out of our vendors, as was our organization's performance norm for the Purchasing function.  He and I were two very loud peas in a padded pod, and very much the organizational culture's exception.  We had a rambunctious debate on an employee relations issue in front of one of my more experienced and very reserved HR colleagues.  "Wow," my HR colleague said, "that's the loudest conversation I've ever witnessed at work." (Wow, I thought -- really?) "Why did you two have to yell at each other?"  He was genuinely upset.  Both the Purchasing Manager and I were surprised.  "We just had a great conversation and resolved the issue, we weren't yelling at each other," the Purchasing Manager reassured my HR colleague.  "No worries.  I need my HR person to be direct and to the point."

Bill's coaching sank in nonetheless:  I consciously and for the most part consistently modulated my tone of voice and developed my HR poker face, and learned to listen first and talk later.  Completely out of my comfort zone, but part of the Zen practice to achieve my goal to do human resources and organization effectiveness work.

At my next organization, yelling was the communications norm.  However, something wonderful clicked early in my tenure there.  Because I listened first -- or as Covey would say, I sought first to understand, rather than to be understood -- that's where I first started to hear the needs underneath the yelling.

We were in the process of acquiring another company, and we were making relocation employment offers to several of the other company's employees located out of town.  Since the acquisition had triggered a WARN (Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification) Act scenario, these employees had 30 days to consider the relocation employment offers.

My boss at time, one of the organization's executives and not an HR professional by background, was, to put it mildly, livid.  In the privacy of his office, he yelled for 20 minutes straight about the absurdity of the WARN Act and how it was preventing him (and us) from conducting our business.  I immediately understood that he was mad at the WARN Act and not at me.  "I know, it's very frustrating," I murmured periodically.  At one point, when he paused to catch his breath, I gently observed:  "You know, I find the IRS Tax Code completely frustrating and illogical.  But like the WARN Act, we're forced to follow it too."  He immediately calmed down, and apologized 3 times to me for yelling. "No worries," I responded.  "I know how you feel, legal and compliance boundaries are often frustrating."

Clearly, there's a time and a place for yelling, preferably in private.  And there's a clear distinction between loud emoting and loud (demeaning) abuse.  I'd rather have my partners and customers at work be authentic, and at times, they need to yell.  In a functional culture, yelling is definitely more the exception rather than the rule, at all levels.  When change is occurring, yelling can be part of the flak we experience from each other as we get closer to the change target.

During my training as a mediator with Mediation Matters, our trainer, Duke Fisher, confirmed my HR experience in needs-identification perfectly.  He encouraged us through role-play and other mediation training experiences that the key to mediating conflict (whether it's over dog poop or international relations) is to first have the courage to listen for the needs underneath the yelling without taking it personally.  And that when one party keeps yelling about the same issue, that's one of several divining rods to accurately isolate the needs underneath the yelling, which in turn will become the building blocks of a solution to move forward.  To meet needs and create peace.

The source of all human conflict, Duke taught us, is needs met and unmet.

I'm here to listen, whether you're yelling or not:  just tell me what you need.

Write Your Life: Write Your Career

Disclaimer up front: as a serial and life-long reader and writer, I tend to focus on writing quality more than the average hiring authority, business partner, customer, colleague, friend or relative. However, I do not believe that I'm in the minority of potential decision-makers. And in the spirit of full disclosure, I do not claim to be a perfect writer or editor, with my solid B in my college Grammar 101 course. However, please do read on before you hit the send button on your next job application.

Bottom line: I continue to consistently see unprofessional correspondence from job candidates. Cover emails and letters as well as job applications riddled with spelling and grammatical errors.

The C.V. attachment that arrived with nothing but "Sent from My Verizon Wireless Blackberry" in the body of the email with the word "sex" embedded in the job applicant's email address is the most recent and memorable.

Twice recently I have seen the mangled "oppertunity" (sic). Once in the email subject line. Ouch.

The immediacy of error-ridden electronic job applications is perhaps even more heart-breaking than the old-fashioned hard-copy cover letters and C.V.'s sent to prospective employers via snail mail. That fading process at least, in theory, baked in some more time to review and proof your correspondence before you stamped it and dropped it in the mailbox (the red, white and blue metal ones). As a recruiter, just for the record, I do not miss at all managing hard-copy job applications.

When a job candidate (or for that matter, anyone else who is writing with the intention of marketing a product) corresponds as carelessly as exemplified above, the telegraphed impact about you as a candidate on the hiring authority and / or decision-maker is deafening:

• No attention to detail, does not proof their work
  
• Makes frequent mistakes
• Cannot write, perhaps cannot speak professionally
• Poor judgment
  
• Might have been impaired when they sent their email application.

(Friends don't let friends email; text; dial; drunk.)

• (Insert your own assessment here.)
  

The 90-day performance review rated "unsatisfactory" writes itself in my head as I move the candidate's mangled application to the "regret" folder, as my experience in the dual role of inside Executive Recruiter and Director of Human Resources / Employee Relations guides me to manage the unsatisfactory performance in the hiring stage and not pursue such candidates any further.

Managing poor performance on the front end (e.g., the candidate hiring stage) saves me and my organization a great deal of work and money on the back end (Payroll time wasted training, disciplining and making available to industry a substandard performer.)

In other words, I had to clean up my own mess, HR-wise, if I inserted a candidate with the issues above into the hiring process and they were subsequently hired. Not to mention the poor reflection on my assessment skills. It certainly motivates the drive for quality candidates.

There is so much information out in both the media and social media channels about the importance of accurate business writing in both the job application process and in the workplace, I'm once again at a loss to understand the substandard writing and grammatical errors I continue to experience in the work of others, especially in this competitive economy.

And I'm not advocating that candidates with poor writing skills engage ghost writers to win the job. Because once you win the job, you still need to write at least emails. I had a manager who worked for me whose emails were borderline illiterate, and they had been in the workforce for almost 20 years. Intrigued, I checked their personnel file (I had not originally hired them). I was astonished to find a C.V. and cover letter better written than my own. Ghost-written. And, as I later found out, by their spouse. But their spouse wasn't there to help, post-hire, with their business email composition.

My intention is not to come off as a writing snob. My own career Achilles heel is MS Excel spreadsheets -- they make my head throb. I winced and squirmed through Intro to MS Excel and Intermediate MS Excel courses. After nearly 10 years of formal and on-the-job instruction, I can for the most part use MS Excel at a satisfactory level. My next frontier is pivot tables.

If writing is your Achilles hell (sic intended!), then please consider continuing education courses in business writing, and then please practice writing at every opportunity. In your volunteer work. Helping your children with their homework. Writing love letters. Facebook posts. If I can white-knuckle MS Excel, you can do the same with your writing for business.

Before I send any important piece of writing out - proposal, job application, blog post - I let the best writer I know proof my work: my husband Joel. He just edited out a repeated word and pointed out two of my signature marathon sentences in this blog post, as a matter of fact. (Thanks, Hon!)

If I'm at work: I read and re-read my work at least 4 times. And then I wait a while before I hit send, sometimes until the next morning. It's worked consistently for me.

Sending in a job application is not a speed competition; if you send in your job application within the first week a job is posted, that is considered an expedient response.

If yours is the first application I receive and it has multiple errors, I will continue to look at the other applications. Clearly, quality counts in this as well as other business writing scenarios.

I believe writing is one of the ultimate acts of human manifestation: you can literally write your life. I have. And I love witnessing that act of creation in others.

I have only one request: please don't write and send out crap. Because what's inside you is so much better than that. And decision-makers are waiting to discover and purchase the gifts you have to offer.

A prosperous week to you and yours!